Next Chapter: How I Structured my New Memoir, Bookends
By Zibby Owens
I wanted to try something different. As host of the daily literary podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books, I read and review hundreds and hundreds of books. Some I start and don’t finish. Others I skim. Occasionally, I find a book that keeps me up late into the night, my four kids sleeping soundly in their beds, my husband out cold beside me, the dog curled at my feet, while I inhale words frantically, illuminated only by my trusted book light. As a lifelong book lover, I’ve had the luxury of analyzing books, both old and new.
Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature, is my deeply personal journey through the many unexpected plot twists in my life. I knew I needed an interesting structure for this memoir, one that would help tell my story and delight those who took the time to notice. Naturally, I turned to books. Some people never forget which pair of shoes they had on or the dress they were wearing at pivotal moments. Not me; I remember what I was reading. How could I tell my story without including those books? That’s when the structure began to emerge.
I decided to title each chapter after the books I was reading at the time and the ones that related to the topic at hand. Then, I sliced and diced the chapters into sections based on the parts of my life that held together thematically and chronologically. When I was reviewing all the sections with the corresponding titles underneath, I realized that there were eight sections, the same number of letters in the title—B-O-O-K-E-N-D-S—and then each section got a letter.
At the very end, I included a Reading List of all the books I mentioned in Bookends. The downloadable list is here with dedicated shops containing all the books I included on Amazon and Bookshop.org for easy shopping. My mission has always been to get more books into the hands of more readers, and I thought this was a pretty clever way to go about it!
Here are a few of the chapter titles based on books I’ve loved. I hope you love them, too.
Family History: A Novel by Dani Shapiro
Dani Shapiro has been one of my all-time favorite authors since I read her memoir Slow Motion: A Memoir of a Life Rescued by Tragedy. I’ve been following her career and reading her work forever, including her novel Family History, which became the title for the chapter I wrote about my own family history. It was such a thrill to not only have Dani on my podcast in the early days, but to host an event with her at my home, and then to become friends. Life is truly stranger than fiction. You can listen to our podcast here.
Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
I wish I’d written Caroline Knapp a letter after I finished her memoir Drinking: A Love Story for the first time, because I’ve definitely read it more than once. Or perhaps I could’ve reached out after I read Pack of Two: The Intricate Bond Between People and Dogs, which I definitely need to re-read now that I’m madly in love with my black lab, Nya. If not then, I surely could have emailed her after Appetites: Why Women Want. I read The Merry Recluse: A Life in Essays after she died unexpectedly and tragically in 2002. I felt like I knew her. When I found out, I gasped, and then grieved. Great authors can do that; create a bond of intimacy, love, and friendship without leaving the page.
Living Out Loud by Anna Quindlen
This book originally came out in 1988 but it’s just as timely today. Anna Quindlen, another one of my all-time favorite authors, collected her columns from life in her thirties in this fantastic book. I’ve read almost everything she’s written, including her two most recent books Nanaville: Adventures in Grandparenting and Write for Your Life. It was an honor hosting her at Zibby’s Virtual Book Club and having her on the podcast twice. (You can listen here and here.) We’ll be doing an event together soon at the Temple Emanu-El Streicker Center. Stay tuned!
Open by Andre Agassi
This is one of my favorite memoirs. As a tennis lover and fan of all tennis-related things, especially from the 1980s and 1990s, I couldn’t wait to read this story. But I didn’t know how sensational the writing would be or how I’d be so drawn in. I couldn’t put it down. Then, a few weeks after I decided to start my podcast, my husband, Kyle, was FaceTiming with his close friend and former French Open doubles champion Murphy Jensen. I overheard Murphy telling Kyle that he had just sat next to Andre on a flight and really reconnected. “Do you think there’s any chance he'd come on my new podcast?” I asked Murphy, perched over Kyle’s shoulder looking into the phone. “Well, I can ask!” Murphy replied. Miraculously, Andre said yes. You can listen to our podcast here. I was probably terrible; it was my second podcast ever.
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
I distinctly remember reading this beautiful true story about a woman I’d never heard of and her dear friend, Lucy Grealy. Back then, I didn’t know who Ann Patchett was. I’d never heard of Parnassus Books, the bookstore she owns in Nashville. But this book about the power of female friendship got me hooked; it came out several years after I lost my close friend Stacey Sanders on 9/11 and helped me through. Recently, I had the privilege of traveling to Parnassus for a Storytime event for my children’s book, Princess Charming. As I wandered around the acclaimed store before taking the stage, I got chills for so many reasons, including my relationship with this particular book. You can listen to my podcast with Ann Patchett here.
See the full list of books that inspired me and my book, Bookends.