My Mantra Is: What Would Nora Ephron Do?
By Jenny Galluzzo
In the fall of 2018, my husband and I decided to end our marriage. We had been together for more than half my life and my entire adulthood. With two young children and busy careers, our marriage had been eroding slowly, and then it seemed to collapse all at once.
Around the same time, I got sick with an autoimmune disease that left me unable to move, speak, or swallow. I was quite literally frozen, a kind of spectator to my own life, which appeared to be both unraveling and racing forward without me.
It was a nightmare. I was afraid and confused, but I was also lucky—I had the love and support of my family and friends, and the ability to pay for the medical treatment I needed. My illness went away, as fast and furiously as it had come on. Looking back on it, the whole experience would seem a kind of fever dream, except for the hard work required to put myself back together again.
What would Nora do? It was a saying my closest friend, Sari, and I made up years before, a short-hand clarion call to be deployed in times of heartache and uncertainty, as we used Nora Ephron’s wisdom to guide us through relationships, break-ups, complex life decisions, insecurity at work, career changes—basically every dimension of our lives.
Nora Ephron, a journalist-turned-essayist-turned-screenwriter-turned-movie director, was a prolific writer whose work encouraged an entire generation to believe in the power of human connection, radical honesty, and the magic of love. Whether Sally in When Harry Met Sally, Dot in This Is My Life, or Nora herself in autobiographical essays like Apartment: A Love Story and The Mink Coat, it is the grit and adaptability of the characters Nora created that I most admire. Even though they are flawed, they are human and honest about themselves. Life happens to them—partners cheat, necks get old and wrinkly, people die. But they remain optimistic about life; they don’t simply survive, they thrive. No doubt about it: Nora has all the answers.
Sari and I had read Nora’s essays and watched her movies dozens—actually, hundreds—of times; WWND had become our touchstone. Don’t think you can go to the event because you are exhausted and not in the mood to schmooze … What Would Nora Do? She would say get off the couch, get dressed and get over it. Afraid to go to the party without your husband by your side … What Would Nora Do? She would say suck it up, put on a killer outfit, smile and get out the door. Looking for guidance at work, with friends, at home? Run it through the WWND filter and the answer is clear.
What would Nora do? It was a saying my closest friend, Sari, and I made up years before, a short-hand clarion call to be deployed in times of heartache and uncertainty, as we used Nora Ephron’s wisdom to guide us through relationships, break-ups, complex life decisions, insecurity at work, career changes—basically every dimension of our lives.
As fall turned to winter that terrible year, I found myself spending a lot of time with Nora. Lying in bed unable to move or speak left me with a lot of free time. I had come to my own Heartburn moment, after all: Here I was, at age 41, nearly the same age as Nora was when, 8 months pregnant, she caught her husband, the journalist Carl Bernstein, cheating on her.
Admittedly, my story was not nearly as traumatic or public, but I found such solace in her words, in how she owned the story, stepped into the punch, made it relatable to others, and came out stronger for it. She turned the joke on herself and controlled the narrative about how she wanted the world to view her. It was a triumph of resilience. According to her close friend Mike Nichols, Nora “cried for 6 months and she wrote it funny. And in writing it funny she won. Betrayed women all over the world knew it and cheered.”
Asking myself WWND helped me pick up the pieces of my life and turn what seemed like insurmountable challenges into advantages. Nora, who died in 2012 at the age of 71, imparted her wisdom to millions through her many books, essays, films, and, of course, in the example of her well-lived life. Her legacy is a complete framework that women need now more than ever. In this era of female empowerment, we need a role model to teach us how to seize the moment and become, as Nora famously said, “the heroines of our own lives.”
When we uncover our inner Nora, we find the strength, courage, and humor to live meaningful, authentic, magical, and (most of all) fun lives. “Get over it!” was one of Nora’s mottos, and something I adopted when my world was turned upside down. Embracing Nora’s ethos of humor through the tough times landed me back on two feet, stronger than ever.
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Jenny Galluzzo is a co-founder of The Second Shift. A former broadcast journalist, she started The Second Shift to help women find ways to engage in the workforce by providing access to meaningful, well-paying, flexible jobs. The Second Shift empowers women and businesses to shift the nature of work.