I Never Set Out to Be an Author, but I Became One Anyway
By Cynthia Muchnick
I am not a short fiction writer or novelist. I’m not a biographer or nonfiction writer. I’m not an essayist or journalist either. And yet, despite those concessions, I’ve managed to carve out my own little self-declared genre.
In 1993, my boyfriend proposed to me on a Scrabble board by scattering the words WILL... YOU…MARRY…ME during our game and that moment became a catalyst — not just for twenty-seven years (so far) of happy marriage, but also for a fulfilling career as a working author.
After my unique, borderline-fairytale marriage proposal, I shared my story with friends and family. Many replied describing clever proposal stories of their own or ones that they had heard or witnessed. Whether aloft in a hot air balloon, in the message of a fortune cookie, on a jumbotron, or on a beach at sunset, it was clear that creative marriage proposals were gaining traction. The more of these stories I heard, the more I kept thinking, “Someone should write a book about marriage proposals! They are such gems, like family folktales that you can share for years to come.”
Eventually, my fiancé, Adam, told me, “You should write the book. You love these stories.” That little piece of encouragement was the push I needed. So, I bought a book on how to write a book (the old-school Literary Writers Market), drafted my first formal proposal letter, wrote a few sample chapters, and sent all sorts of publishing houses my pitch and a SASE (yes, these were the days of Self-Addressed Stamped Envelopes).
About six months and more than 25 rejection letters later, my phone rang.
It was an editor from Macmillan, then a division of Simon & Schuster, who asked me if I had sold my book yet. My jaw nearly hit the floor. They wanted to publish my book — Will You Marry Me? The World’s Most Romantic Proposals — in time for a Valentine’s Day launch and promote it through the June wedding season. What kind of advance was I seeking, and how soon could I deliver a completed manuscript? Wow! I was going to become a real author!
Over the course of the next several years, I experienced dozens more pinch-me moments. I was suddenly being marketed as the country’s leading engagement expert. I wrote a follow-up marriage proposal book and two more wedding books. To generate publicity, my publisher sent me on the talk-show circuit . Leeza Gibbons and Sally Jesse Raphael invited me on for repeat visits. I met Donny and Marie Osmond while pilot-guesting their talk show, and I posed for photos with their producer Dick Clark; I was on Home Team with Terry Bradshaw, chatted with Gayle King on her show, and guested on Mike and Maty, Maureen O’Boyle, Home & Family, Good Day Los Angeles and New York, and dozens more. Honeymoon Magazine (now defunct) hired me to head up their Public Relations department, write travel articles, and revisit the talk show circuits promoting honeymoons, destination weddings, and creative proposals. Most of my twenties were a blur of engagement, wedding, honeymoon, and travel promotion.
When I became a mother, I found that writing was still the perfect career for me.
I could be attentive to my toddlers and stay up late at night to write (or find time when they napped). Before my marriage-proposal phase, I had worked in college admissions. I came back to this by opening up an at-home college counseling practice, helping hundreds of students on their college admission journeys.
I became an expert on college essays, study skills, and time management. More books followed. The Best College Admission Essays, The Everything Guide to Study Skills, Straight-A Study Skills, The Everything College Checklist Book, and Writing Successful College Applications. I wrote what I knew in an attempt to help students navigate and find more joy and success in their competitive journeys. Being a teen was stressful enough. My books could help make the path more equitable and less overwhelming for a much wider audience, not just the students I privately met with in my office.
As my own family grew, I continued to speak about my passions. Radio shows, podcasts, schools, and companies hired me to speak. My career has been a dream come true, a perfect fit for a mother of a busy household.
Twenty years went by in a flash, and by this point, I felt that I had exhausted my knowledge of college admissions. I was also beginning to burn out, so I closed my counseling business and retired. I continued to present whenever schools called, but I just didn’t have the energy to run my own business anymore.
My husband and I had grown our family together, and I was a mother of four kids, each one so distinctly different. I hardly viewed myself as a parenting authority or expert. But friends, family, and colleagues kept asking, “When are you going to write a parenting book?” In March 2019, the Varsity Blues scandal sent shockwaves through the college admission world. My wheels started to turn.
After news of the scandal broke, I got on the phone with my friend Jenn Curtis, a colleague and former social worker. We spent 90 minutes talking to one another. Later, we pored over the 300-page court document describing the ways parents and a corrupt college counselor had exploited and cheated the college admission system by faking student resumes, lying to get students recruited as college athletes, and even doctoring and rigging the standardized testing system. We felt gut-punched. A profession we both believed in and had dedicated our careers to was being dismantled by a corrupt con man. And why were so many wealthy parents crossing so many moral lines — and what about their kids?
Jenn and I began talking about our own students. In the last several years we both noticed trends of overstressed, over-anxious students and pushy, micromanaging parents. The behavior of some of these parents, while they thought it might be helpful, was actually making our students feel worse. While we never witnessed anything as extreme as the Varsity Blues parents, we certainly saw some unsettling patterns of behavior. We felt compelled to do something.
Jenn and I joined forces, deciding to co-author a book that we wanted all parents of teens and tweens to read in order to help remedy the negative trends. Thus, The Parent Compass was conceived. (You can read more about our writing journey together here.)
Even through Covid, The Parent Compass became a Library Journal bestseller. Jenn and I have shared our book and movement on over 50 podcasts, appeared on dozens of news and television shows, published scores of articles, and conversed with virtual book clubs across the country.
Above all, we hope that our book has been a positive contribution to an essential conversation. The goal of The Parent Compass is a mighty one: To help parents of tweens and teens navigate these competitive and uncertain years while keeping the mental health of teens at the forefront and preserving relationships in the process.
So, do you want to become a writer? My best advice:
Write to fill a void. Write what you know. And don’t second-guess yourself—just do it.
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Cynthia Clumeck Muchnick is the author of four marriage proposal/wedding books and several educational books for students and parents including The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen’s Wellness and Academic Journey in Today’s Competitive World (Familius/Workman, 2020). She has worked in college admissions, as an educational consultant, and as a high school teacher. She speaks professionally to parents, students, teachers, and businesses on topics such as study skills, the adolescent journey, college admission, and the parent compass movement. She is thrilled to have finally written her own children’s book, too, that arrives in the fall of 2023. She resides in Menlo Park, California with her two teens, husband, and dog, Sprinkle. Her two grown kids live on the East Coast.
For more information about the author: www.cynthiamuchnick.com, www.parentcompassbook.com, IG: @parentcompass, Facebook: The Parent Compass, Twitter: @CindyMuchnick