Let’s Make 2023 Our Year of What Ifs...
By Zibby Owens
The last five years of my life have been insane. It all started with an essay, “A Mother’s Right to Sanity,” which I wrote on a flight from New York to Los Angeles after a particularly demanding, exhausting, rewarding, impossible week with my four kids, then ages three to ten. I simply asked, “What if I submit this to HuffPost?” after I’d finished writing it. What happened next changed my life.
The essay went viral and encouraged me to dive back into my lifelong dream of personal essay writing (my first piece was published in Seventeen magazine in 1993!) and awakened my dormant pipe dream to become an author. That spawned the idea for a collection of parenting essays, which paved the way for a book proposal, a podcast, an Instagram account—a whole new career, and then so many more creative endeavors I never thought possible: a publishing company, a bookstore, a podcast, a podcast network, a magazine, an education platform, book events, a monthly book club, retreats, an awards show, four books of my own, and a novel on its way (if I stop writing this essay and actually finish my draft). Thousands of new connections and meaningful friendships with like-minded souls have come since, and it all started with that question of what if. What if I start a podcast? What if I start a publishing company? Why not?
I was a “stay-at-home mom” for over a decade, the worst term for the most out-of-the-house I've ever been. Playgroups. Playdates. Storytimes. Doctor’s appointments. Walks in the park. School pick-ups and drop-offs. I was on the go, always racing out of the house, pushing strollers, pushing away my own career aspirations and, perhaps, my own identity.
Then, post-divorce with slightly older children, I finally had time to remember who I was when not being a full-time mom. I was: me. Bookish. Warm. Creative. Driven. A great listener. A connector. A story lover and storyteller. A deep, deep empath. I found a way to turn all of those traits into a career that is so deeply rewarding, exciting, motivating, and soulfully satisfying that I find it hard to do anything but water the soil and keep it growing.
Ironically, I stay home all the time now. My company of 17 awesome innovators works several days a week from my apartment, our laptops humming around the dining room table. I run upstairs to do podcasts from my desk and then hurry back down to join the fray. When my kids come home from school, they join us at the table and do their homework. After pick-up—which I still prioritize and do myself most days—I walk in the front door with my little ones and hear my eight-year-old call out, “Where’s Graça?” Then she cozies up next to my assistant, her favorite du jour. Zibby Media doesn’t feel like a company; it feels like company I choose to keep.
If not now, when? If not me, who?
In 2023, the Zibby Books publishing company is starting its one-book-a-month, 12-books-per-year model by launching Alisha Fernandez Miranda’s memoir, My What If Year. Alisha, a fellow mom of twins and CEO, took a year off from her high-powered career to try out the dream jobs of her youth. It’s an apt metaphor for my life, and everything our company stands for: taking prudent, informed risks, looking at the world in different ways, trying new things, learning, growing, sharing and connecting—doing it all with a sense of humor, and always remembering that life is short.
As I usher in a new year, I’m putting out all the positive vibes I can, like the rays of light beaming from the chests of the Care Bears. I don’t know how all of my new endeavors this year will turn out. I’m sure there will be unforeseen obstacles as my team collectively launches many things at once, turning my what-if dreams into a reality, including using Zibby Mag to release 52 essays this year by accomplished authors, one each week, inspired by the holidays.
But I know that I’m doing everything I can, not only to ensure success, but to redefine what success even means. Does a successful book launch only mean hitting bestseller lists? Or can it also mean something far greater and more personally meaningful? (Although I’ll take the lists too, please!) Can it mean connecting with individuals around the world and literally making their lives better through storytelling and community? Can it mean basking in the warmth that accompanies an email from a reader, as I feel after reading notes when people finish my memoir Bookends? Is the point of life only sales (again, yes, of course we want those, too!) or is it contributing to a greater good, something bigger than yourself, and feeling appreciated as you do so?
As I embark on my what-if year alongside Alisha, I encourage you to do so, too. What if the essay you’ve been debating writing could turn a reader’s life around on the other side of the globe? What if the Instagram message you’re on the fence about makes someone feel less alone, and that person goes out and helps someone else? What if you start that business or take that class or go on that trip or call that old friend or attend that event instead of staying home?
I used to tell myself on weekend nights back when I was single in my twenties, I don’t know what will happen if I walk out the door—if I’ll meet a new guy or even have fun—but it’s guaranteed that nothing will happen and I won’t meet anyone if I stay home. I’d sit alone on the couch, trying so hard to motivate myself to meet friends or stop by that party or call that guy. (I am, fundamentally, a homebody.) Now, I’ve turned staying home into a virtue—the creative place where I try new things, connect with my chosen people, including my four kids and my amazing (second) husband Kyle.
The past five years have been an unexpected gift, but they wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t put myself out there. Tried things. Approached life with a what-if attitude.
What if we all made this our what-if year? As I learned firsthand, it’s never too late to change your life—or someone else’s.
What if you could rewrite your story, right now, in ways big and small?
What would you do?